I know, I was there
by AMillionPages
Summary: This is a one-shot about Silena's death from Clarisse's point of view. She may be a bit OOC in this, but I hope its good either way. I don't own any of the characters, Rick Riordan does.


**I know. I was there**

**A/N: Hey! So this is just a one-shot from Clarisse's perspective after Silena dies. This is while they are burning the shroud. I hope you like is – comments with advice and praise are appreciated! **

As I sit at the flickering fire by the remains of Silena's burning shroud millions of thoughts are running through my mind. All I want is for them to stop. Stop haunting me, torturing me, killing me. It's as if they know one of my only weaknesses, they know how to hurt me most. Because it's my fault. I may well have killed her for the part I played. I don't understand why she did it, what was going through her mind!? I should be angry at her – it's my instinctive reaction. But I just can't bring myself to feel that way. So many people died that day, I'm glad Chris didn't go as well. I need him, more than he realises.

So many shrouds are burning next to hers. But I don't know these people. I don't feel remorse, guilt, or grief for them. Only her. But she's just a colour amongst many, trapped between the burning shrouds of the other campers. People begin whispering, talking quietly about what happened on that dreadful day. About what happened, the war, the day my life changed forever. I try to stop it, I don't need more pain. But my mind goes unwillingly back to that day; relieving all the old memories I have managed to keep away since…

…_As the chariot landed at the scene I could instantly tell something's wrong. Something – someone – is lying on the floor. Normally I wouldn't bother much, it's just a dead camper, and I've got a war to fight in. But something this time caught my eye. I don't know what it was, maybe because people were crowded round, maybe because they looked at me with pity in their eyes, maybe because I could recognise my boar helmet anywhere. I ran forward, hoping the voice in my head was wrong. My helmet was struggled off her and I knew it was too late, there would be a shroud burning for this camper when we finished. I finally saw; saw the once beautiful featured that were now ruined by the acid. My heart stopped when I realised who it was. I should have known, I should have gone with her when she tried, she shouldn't be lying here dying. But she is. Silena. _

'_Why?' I questioned, but I already knew the answer. I couldn't think, couldn't hear what was going on. In her hand was a silver bracelet, with a scythe charm. I vaguely heard something about her being the spy, a traitor, and wanted to run them through with maimer. But as I closed her eyes I ignored the truth, and told them she was a hero. Everyone was too scared to disagree with me. This wasn't right, it wasn't fair. People were talking, shouting, but my thoughts were elsewhere. Dissolved in the events, just like her life was. Only one thought made its way through the mess._

_That drakon has to die._

_Ignoring pitiful protests from weak campers I grabbed maimer and launched it as hard as I could. It got its eye, but it broke. For once I just didn't care, it wasn't enough, and I needed revenge. Grabbing a fallen camper's sword I ran for the drakon. Not caring that I had no armour; that I could easily die. I was going to kill it, even if it killed me. That was all that was running through my head when I attacked, slicing and slashing. Kicking and stabbing. Prissy tried to help; he tried to be the hero again. But he just wasn't good enough, and I did all the work. _

_I don't remember much after that. Except going crazy, killing everything in sight, I felt invincible. The blessing of Ares probably helped. At some point I was frozen by some giant, and when I woke up Chris was there. In that moment I was so relieved he was alive. I didn't care about sappiness when I hugged him, getting the most surprised look off his face. It would have been comical in any other situation. I don't think I could have handled it if he had left me too. I somehow managed to collect Silena's body, to bring it back home, to camp. _

_She was a hero…_

…At some point Chris must have come, he's sitting next to me with an arm round my shoulders. I don't care about PDA anymore; I just want him next to me as I sit here. I wish Luke was still alive, I wish I could punish him. But I can't, so I'll punish myself instead, because I could have stopped this. But I didn't. I'm glad he's here as I listen to the other campers cry over their losses. But I stay silent. I can't show any weakness – I am still a daughter of Ares. That's why I get up, pulling Chris with me, and walk out. I can't be there any longer. It's too painful. They can't see my pain, they can't see my weakness. I have a reputation.

People are still whispering, talking, as I leave. About what happened. The war. Millions of thoughts are running through my mind. All I want is for them to stop. Because so many shrouds are burning next to hers, but I don't know these people, I don't feel anything. I can hear people talking, about Silena now, how she was a hero. Finally. Campers talk about how scary it was, how many people died, how I single handily killed that drakon.

I know. I was there.


End file.
